Last week DD#1 had winter break from school...and the week went well til Wednesday evening...then all hell broke loose and it still hasn't gotten back to a good place yet...she also had a snow day yesterday...got her ready and off to school today and saw that the school psychologist's assessment of her has been sitting in her backpack all week. Reading that paperwork was like a punch in the gut. Even though I do believe that she needs outside help, that she probably does have ADD/ADHD, there was still a part of me that almost hoped all it boiled down to was that DH and I would need to just learn some new parenting techniques and we'd deal with it....DD is off the charts in the 'clinically significant' ranges on nearly every single criteria in the evaluation. And this eval was based on independent surveys of DH and I, DD's teachers, and the school psychologist herself. It really isn't just that we're having trouble handling an active 6 yr old...she really is off the charts...and while I am glad that the eval had supported what we've seen at home, it still hurt like hell to read.
The pediatrition's office was closed all last week...I've been trying since Friday to call them to set up an appointment for an eval for her...finally got thru this AM and discovered that they were actually just closed the whole time...very frustrating, cause the outgoing message didn't say a word about it being closed, but whatever...set up the appointment, but it's not until the 9th...which is 2 weeks away...but okay, at least it's all set up. I have to drop off the school's eval paperwork at the ped's office today so that he can review it before I go to see him...the appointment is for me to go solo, not for DD to be there, so I assume he's going to base his eval on the paperwork, what he's seen himself (he did comment last time that she really just doesn't stop moving & talking ever), and what I tell him...so that's at least a step in the right direction...
And just as got DD#2 down for her nap, the phone rings...and it's the school...and it's the principal telling me that DD#1 now has an in school suspension...she told a classmate that she was going to punch him in the eyeball..and when asked why she said that, the only answer she'd give is "I DON'T REMEMBER"...and the principal said that if this continues, this might have to change to an out of school suspension...she's six freaking years old!! We are not violent people that she would have heard something like that at home...we do not let her watch violent programs on TV, or in movies, so it's not something she's seen...I don't know where she's getting this stuff from, or why she thinks this is okay to do...I just don't know what to do...
DH and I need a break..we need some time off, just for ourselves...this is a non-stop battle that we fight every damned day and we're just worn out...but my dad's fighting a bout of celulitous and my mom's taking care of him...his mom is holding his brother together and helping his brother's family deal with our sister in law's injuries and brain condition...and his dad doesn'tdo diapers, sleepovers, or anything of the sort...so we're stuck....
I just want...no I NEED...a couple of days when she holds it together and behaves at least somewhat normally so that I don't get calls from the school, so that we don't have to yell or fight, so that there are no temper tantrums to deal with...but that's just not going to happen now...
So, I'll deal...I'll finish my lunch and comfort myself with my ice cream (which I know is the wrong thing to do for my diet but I can't seem to care right now) and I'll escape into TV fiction and I'll ignore the world until DD#2 gets up from her nap...then I'll take the paperwork to the ped's office and wait til it's time to pick up DD#1 from school...and then I guess I'll just tread water til the 9th....
Pray for us...
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2 comments:
oh Jessie.. *hugs hugs hugs* I hate living so far away from you. I would take on your kids for a weekend or a week. Whatever you and DH needed. I really do know what it is like to be at that point. I am at that point today. So just now I booked MYSELF a dr apt. Usually I just take Jessi and deal with her. But this time I need to deal with me. I also want to talk about a few things re:Jessi without her having to overhear (like a blood test) and that is a bit hard with her apts as she is there. Keep your head above water and a place where you can find solitude. Even if it is only that hour or two DD2 sleeps. Do something for you in this time. You need to Jess, or you wont make it through. Who cares if the floor isn't vaccumed or the dishes to be done. They will still be there later, your sanity may not.
Well said.
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