They told me when Jeff died that it could take 6-8 weeks for the report to be finalized, before they could tell us what the hell happened to take him away from us. Last week was 2 months, that's 8 weeks, I'm done waiting...
Called them again this morning, finally got some answers...the investigation was closed 2 weeks ago and no one bothered to contact me in any way...even though I'd specifically told them I needed them to call me...must not have been a priority for them that day...
So...the official COD is now...undetermined. Yep, they couldn't find a single thing to point their fingers at and say "this is it"...somehow, it just doesn't work in my head that a healthy 34 yr old man can just drop dead and they can't find SOMETHING to explain it. I know they'd ruled out "foul play" shortly after they started the investigation, but other than that, nothing....
I'll be getting a copy of the report and go over it with family & friends...compile a list of all our questions and then call the doctor that had Jeff's case...to add to the fun, that doc just left on a 3 week vacation, so I'll have to wait til she gets back before I can ask her anything...
I don't know, maybe CSI has just spoiled me, I'm used to watching and see the cases go from someone dead to the bad guy in jail and all the questions answered in an hour..and if you take out the commercials, it's actually like 44 minutes...but here in reality, 8 weeks and they will close the investigation and STILL have no answers...how does this happen???
We were all waiting to be told a heart attack....okay, then we'd at least know...or an embolism...okay, we'd at least know...or SOMETHING, so that we'd at least KNOW....but now? It's not like they can go back and re-examine him, he's cremated! We'll never know what happened to him, never know why he was taken from us....and we'll just have to live with never knowing...and that just plain sucks...
I'm so angry & frustrated...how can they close an investigation without finding out what the hell happened?? If there was at least a reason, it might help...but there isn't....at least not one that I'll ever know...I want to fall apart, but I have to be able to function with my girls...I want to scream & hit something really hard...but that won't do anything, so what's the point? I want to just curl up in bed with all the lights off and the covers over my head...but life has to go on...so what option do I have but to keep going, keep doing the day to day crap, keep moving, keep on...even if that's the last thing I really want to do right now...
After Lori wakes up from her nap, I'm making a wine run...cause tonight I'm drinking, that's for damned sure!!
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