Things are happening...

So, I took a bit of a break this weekend, had my mom come up and wrangle the minis and I went to hang out with a very special friend of mine that I haven't seen in 2 years...had fun, got drunk...BTW, anyone planning on drinking Red Bull & vodka...either start really early in the day with those or only have 1 or 2..cause by the time we turned in at 5 AM the caffine kicked in and I didn't actually fall asleep til after 9 AM the next morning LOL!!

And I just heard from my aunt that tomorrow she's meeting with my realtor down in NC to look at a few houses for me!! This is really odd for me...I still feel like I'm 18 or 19...and she's doing the pre-lim walk through on houses that I'm looking to buy...that's such a grown-up thing...when the hell did I get to the point where "grown up" could actually apply to me??? I'm really excited to see what she thinks of the places, and just maybe there's a chance that I might be able to get the housing situation all taken care of before the end of the school year...that would make the logistics of the move alot easier!!

Last night I was sitting on my front porch, smoking a cigarette...yep, I started smoking again, but not in the house and not in the car with the kids...and feeling really pretty blue...I'm not used to being alone anymore...and so I came back inside and signed up for Friend Finders...I stressed the point that I'm only looking for friends cause I'm recently widowed with 2 kids and a new relationship is pretty much the LAST thing I want to even think about right now...but I listed my zip code as Vanceboro, NC and that's the area I'm looking in...it would be nice to have a few possible friendships started when I get down there...though I have a feeling that my cousins will make a habit of dropping by with their buddies just to check up on me...I really have no clue if the friend finder thing will work, but at the very least it will give me the arena to rid myself of a bit of social rust...and I'm not dopey enough to give any personal info, so when the month long membership expires I won't have to worry about crazy stalker people finding me LOL...

On one hand, I really want it to be summer so that I can get on with the next phase of my life, whatever that might be...on the other hand, I really don't want to leave the places where I can remember Jeff with us...and at the same time, maybe it would be easier without the reminders around me...I don't know...

I've got a follow up meeting with R's school to go over the more in-depth eval they did at her ped's request, and I've now got a list of child psychologists so that her ped can tell me which he'd like me to bring her to...a step closer to the actual official diagnosis...man, I just want to know what the hell to do from this point...where do we go from here?? I want the not knowing part to be over and to get to the managing part of the program already!!

OK, enough babble..enough ranting...I get to hang out with some very special friends this weekend, very much looking forward to this...but it does mean that at some point I have to vacuum...if only I could remember where I put that thing....hmmmm...maybe time to start the search LOL!!